Missing Pieces


“I just want to find all the missing pieces of me and fit them back together again”.

And there wasn’t a woman in the room that didn’t know what she meant.

We disown so many parts of ourselves in the course of our lives – the vulnerability, the creativity, the curiosity, the ambition, the anger. We create a sense of self that’s less than who we are to fit in, to be accepted by others, sometimes to survive. We  censor ourselves, lose them and forget they were ever part of us.

So when we become aware of that having happened what can we do to put those pieces back and live fully, authentically?

– name the pieces as you find them – “I feel excited right now.”

– remember a time when they served you really well – “ the last time I got angry, I cleared the air and got closer to___________ .”

– realize time has changed the edges and it’ll take time to feel as though the pieces really are yours – “I can’t believe I did that!”

– adjust, allow and accept the fragility of those ideas, feelings and behavior. It’s like any other ability; you’ll need to practice. There’ll be mistakes along the way. Forgive yourself  – “ I’ll get better at this, I did the best I could.”

And we do. Try by try we name, experience and integrate the pieces back into our sense of self.

So the next time you think “I never do that!”, or “That’s so not like me!” think again, maybe it’s a missing piece of who you really are and once you find its place, it’ll fit.

(image: Fine Art America)



13 thoughts on “Missing Pieces

  1. Beautiful. I have been currently learning to own my anger as I was so used disowning it for so long. It was difficult to feel it at first because it felt so foreign, but now I find it really liberating and am on my way to a healthy balance. Much love!


    • Same to you- one thought that’s helped me, an image really is this; anger is always a sign (like a stop sign) what does it say? in one of my workshops I gave everyone sheets with the just the outline of a sign on them, they wrote the message. For a lot of them, the message was to speak up, take a stand or act- for all of them (me too) it was a reminder and way back to what we value- what matters most to us.Maybe it will help you too.


  2. This was incredible and included some great advice, too! I think we need to be more meditative and think about what is part of us, whether we can branch out to include others, along with other pursuits. I know that you wrote a very helpful way to put the pieces together, one piece at a time. I liked the part about not being too quick to judge or discard a piece, too! Smiles, Robin


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