I thought I’d be blasé by this time. Maybe it’s just that I’m asking different questions, better questions and reconciling long held beliefs with experience in the process.
Every contradiction leads to something I didn’t expect, wasn’t aware of or didn’t notice before. It’s part second childhood and part archeological dig, a perpetual state of beginners mind (Shoshin).
Strange thing is, it’s gotten easier to be wrong, to laugh at myself, to learn and change my mind.
With any luck, by the time I’m 100 years old, I’ll be 10 again.
I thought by now
I’d have all the answers,
The right answers –
That I’d be sure of
Just about everything
But the opposite
It would have worried me
Every nudge into uncertainty
Is a relief, a breathing space,
A place to wonder, to reconsider.
And every time I say
“I don’t know for sure, what if…”
I feel more alive.