“I just want to find all the missing pieces of me and fit them back together again”.
And there wasn’t a woman in the room that didn’t know what she meant.
We disown so many parts of ourselves in the course of our lives – the vulnerability, the creativity, the curiosity, the ambition, the anger. We create a sense of self that’s less than who we are to fit in, to be accepted by others, sometimes to survive. We censor ourselves, lose them and forget they were ever part of us.
So when we become aware of that having happened what can we do to put those pieces back and live fully, authentically?
- name the pieces as you find them – “I feel excited right now.”
- remember a time when they served you really well – “ the last time I got angry, I cleared the air and got closer to___________ .”
- realize time has changed the edges and it’ll take time to feel as though the pieces really are yours – “I can’t believe I did that!”
- adjust, allow and accept the fragility of those ideas, feelings and behavior. It’s like any other ability; you’ll need to practice. There’ll be mistakes along the way. Forgive yourself - “ I’ll get better at this, I did the best I could.”
And we do. Try by try we name, experience and integrate the pieces back into our sense of self.
So the next time you think “I never do that!”, or “That’s so not like me!” think again, maybe it’s a missing piece of who you really are and once you find its place, it’ll fit.
(image: Fine Art America)