There are times when our lives take on a life of their own and we feel we can barely keep up. We feel rushed, constrained and self-censored all at once.
We program ourselves to say and do only the right thing at the right time and sacrifice spontaneity for strategy and our spirit for persona.
It’s one thing to get caught up in everyday demands but we all need to go back and reclaim what we’ve neglected or left behind along the way. We have to stay connected to our whole selves if we want to have meaningful relationships with others.
One really simple way I do this that always helps is to fill a small shallow bowl with water and place a leaf or some petals on top. Then I take it in both hands and walk slowly.
The idea is not only just not to spill it, but to be aware of the water that’s hidden under the leaf/ petals and to reflect on what experiences during my day I kept to myself.
It’s not easy- it’s a kind of reckoning and reconciliation. More about the “why” than the “what”, but despite that, I keep doing it. Maybe one day I won’t feel the need to. No one will.
I don’t know this garden anymore.
There are wild places here I barely remember.
I used to know them all,
They were parts of me.
No need for caution or restraint.
I didn’t step so slow or leave so fast.
I rested in the truth of all my longings
And lived them.
I need to return to these wild places -
To the near forgotten ways of being
That upset what I think I know about who I am and have to offer
Just because they simply are.
I need the disorder of contradiction to fill me
Until I understand again
How to let the wild in me just be.